


Melancholy Kaleidoscope

by souyos



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Panic, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/souyos/pseuds/souyos
Summary: Souji decides to confess his feelings for Yosuke.They're both a gay mess.
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji
Comments: 7
Kudos: 131





	Melancholy Kaleidoscope

Souji had asked Yosuke to join him at the riverbank earlier in the day, quickly running into him at Junes before asking him to be there and hurrying off. Thoughts raced through his head, enough to make his head physically feel 10 pounds heavier, doubts and anxieties swirling. He hurriedly tried to come up with an escape route in case he couldn't muster up the courage to confess. He spent his few minutes alone, already having calculated the time it would take for Yosuke to get to the riverbank after his shift at Junes ended. 6 minutes left, wasted as he prepared himself to run like a coward instead of confess. However, as he sat alone thinking, he shortly realized with just under 2 minutes left, that Yosuke knew him well enough to know something was up if he were to forfeit now, after making a bigger deal of this than he would for any other casual news.

_30 seconds left._  
‘I could leave… No, he would call or text me.’  
He wanted to find an easy way out, his panic almost shocking enough to cause his hair to stand up. 

_15 seconds left._  
Before he could even begin a coherent thought, he was interupted.

“Yo, partner!”, a cheery voice called from just behind him. The light, carefree tone of Yosuke’s voice was always quick to make a kaleidoscope of butterflies spawn and immediately migrate to find a home in his chest. With his panic firmly settled into his mind, and now his heart blinded and confused by the loud thumps of heartbeat and the pitter patter of butterfly feet and wings, he forgot to respond to the boy, who has now began to sit down next to him, of course not without almost tipping over like an overly filled, fragile decorative teacup into the river.  
This had managed to snap Souji out of his trepidation, quickly moving to ensure he did not fall into the river. Only now did Souji realize that Yosuke was lightly panting, likely from running here, a light sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead in the golden hour light. 

‘He’s so beautiful’ he thought, unsuccessfully trying to will his feelings down, he reminded the logical part of his brain that he hoped was still working, sweat is not supposed to make someone attractive. Or more attractive in this case. His mind had wanted to drift off again, to ponder every aspect of Yosuke’s body and personality that Souji was so hopelessly in lo-, no, he only had a crush on Yosuke. That was what he wished to tell himself anyway, to soften the blow when Yosuke inevitably rejected him, and left his heart and their friendship crushed like the grounded leaves in Autumn. 

“Hey, earth to partner. Anyone in there?”  
Souji finally noticed that Yosuke was trying to conversate to him amidst his panic. A quick apology and a clearing of a throat that was definitely way too dry for that to have been comfortable, and they were looking eye to eye. Yosuke’s eyes filled with curiosity and a hint of concern, Souji’s perfect poker face however left nothing revealed to answer his curiosity. 

“So, ya gonna tell me why you wanted me to meet you here? What’s so important that you couldn’t have told me back at Junes?” There was something in his voice that Souji couldn’t quite place, which only served to cause the dark cloud of anxiety and storm of butterflies to reach a new level of turmoil in his body. This time, he fought back so he would not be lured back into his thoughts, so he could actually have a conversation with him before he got too worried and began to pry. 

“Yes, I asked to meet you here for a reason,”, Every ounce of Souji’s being was dedicated to preserving his cool, calm, and collected facade. He continues, “I had something to say to you.”  
He clams up as Yosuke’s face turns even more curious, and Souji’s mind tries to scream at him that he’s adorable, and he immediately shuts it down, quickly calming himself, taking a swallow that felt more like swallowing coarse sand mixed with fragments of seashells than saliva, and beginning to speak again.

“I want to confess my feelings for you.”, he pauses as he hears Yosuke gasp, one that doesn’t sound exactly pleased, but not one that sounds completely disgusted either. One with a dangerous mix of emotions, dangerous because he cannot figure them out.  
“Dude- what,”, “Allow me to finish,”, another coarse swallow, and a blink a second or two longer than normal, an attempt to reset his emotions, he wished to be as cool as his exterior, knowing it is quickly melting from the cold chill of anxious heat that continues to engulf his insides, completely taking over him. 

“I’ve had a crush on you for a while. I decided it’s only fair for you to know.” He hopes that's enough, but seeing Yosuke’s eyes widen with what he assumed was fear- of course it wouldn’t be, now he’s just another Kanji to Yosuke, a person he can’t trust to not try anything. “I am not asking for or expecting anything,”, he stumbles to get the words out, fear overcoming him, paralyzing his entire body, threatening to shut his mouth for him, instinctively knowing he's royally fucked up, there is no possible way he can recover from this, his calm face breaks down as he could almost feel his heart physically shatter into a million pieces, stinging his entire chest and moving up to his face as if his heart was made of fiberglass. 

Before his eyes could have a chance to betray him and let a single tear spill as they went watery, he heard a slight rustling of clothes, and then he felt a hand slip into his.

Realizing, Souji could have sworn he felt his heart repair itself then its beat swell up and travel throughout his body, reaching its destination in his fingertips, the unexpected feeling of affection swelling up while he simultaneously slowly and quickly began to process that he is, in fact, holding hands, actually holding hands, with the one that had blessed and cursed his mind with constant racing thoughts. But before he could become preoccupied with what he had thought this to be like, his mind came back to the reality of his hand against Yosuke’s, heartbeat intensifying before relaxing back down into a low simmer, the bubbles of adrenaline finding their way back to their place in his heart. Then he could begin to focus on how it actually felt like, to have fingers interlocked, palms pressed against each other with a force that felt like too much but also not nearly enough, and they find themselves thinking, wishing, to be able to hold onto this, Yosuke’s hand, the feelings bubbling up again, forever. The contact eventually ends, Yosuke quickly letting go with a jerk of his hand, Souji looking up at him in shock at what just occurred. 

“Man I d-don’t know why I did that, but like you looked like you were about to cry and like, I don’t want you because there’s- there’s like no reason to cry.” Yosuke barely managed to spit out that sentence, it bouncing off his tongue like a clumsily thrown dice, words directed at him but sounding like they had gone to the side, to be lost in the scenery around them. Looking away somehow even further, Yosuke starts to get up- almost as if to start to run away. Souji makes an audible noise of confusion, causing Yosuke to visibly panic even further. “Don’t think of this as a-anything, partner. It was just a friendly gesture. I wouldn’t- I don’t- That’s not- Ugh.” He lets out a sigh of defeat, and looks down at a shaken Souji before continuing.

“Enough people hate me already, you think I- I want to add to that?” The words coming from his mouth seemed to carry multiple meanings said through the tone of his voice, and Souji can’t keep or manage to put them together, the words were heard clearly, as clearly as they could be heard from Yosuke’s panicked mumbling, but something happened to them as they reached his ears and they became garbled nonsense once they made their way to his brain. His senses were completely taken over by the loud pounding from his heartbeat knocking around so much in its cage of his chest, the vibrations felt all over his poor body. 

All Souji could do was stare helplessly at Yosuke, asking him wordlessly with his gaze to elaborate. His calm exterior has nearly completely vanished, all he’s gone through and yet it was this one boy who managed to tear it to shreds in one early evening. He briefly wondered if Yosuke knew what effect he had on him, he almost knew him better than he knew himself after all. Plus Yosuke could come off as astute sometimes, when he wanted to.

“Look, partner. I-” Yosuke managed to spit out a fragment after a few tense moments of silence, the two boys looking into eachothers eyes, trying to untangle the emotions laced within them.  
“I’m not rejecting you, but- I’m not _n-not_ rejecting you, I just, uh, um.” Yosuke’s stammered and stunted sentence gave Souji enough of a respite to recover slightly, and to be able to speak again. He adjusted himself to stand in the same position as Yosuke, looking straight at him rather than up at him. 

“You what? Are you saying you possibly feel the same?”  
“W-what?! N-no, well, I- You know,” Yosuke groaned out in frustration, his unadmitted feelings for Souji and his internalized homophobia mixing like oil and water. Yosuke had previously acquired a habit of pushing away and repressing his feelings he’d begun to grow for his ‘partner’, those feelings having grown as easily and plentiful as sunflowers along country roads, seeds firmly planted deep within and throughout his heart. Pushing them away, letting his internalized issues run wild, so he wouldn’t have to deal with how he felt, he’d rather pretend he was someone he really wasn’t rather than confront how he felt, even if he’d previously learned that wasn’t a good idea, and that Souji would have accepted him no matter what, he believing their bond as friends being unbreakable. He’s screwed himself over, now, though. But how was he supposed to know things would lead to this, where he would have to properly address how he felt?

The next words Yosuke let out were small, and almost unheard, “....Y-Yeah, I uh, li-like yout-tooIguesshaha.” If Souji weren't desperately waiting to hear a proper response, he would have likely not heard or grasped onto what Yosuke had said. His eyes went wide, his exterior crumbling down for the second time today, red had rushed to both of their faces, as they looked at eachother realizing what this meant, asking themselves where they would go from here.

As they looked at eachother, their faces slowly began to move closer in proximity, drawn to each other like they always been, their bond somehow managing to become a level deeper, and before they knew it, they had gently pressed their lips together, only to quickly break apart as the white hot electricity that sparked between them was almost enough to singe their mouths. 

“W-Woah, did- did we- didwejust-”, Yosuke was the first to break the silence, the low panic now regaining its high. “We did, yes. It was nice.” Souji began to ponder how he should officially ask Yosuke to be his boyfriend, or if it was obvious enough. He had not nearly enough experience with dating, or being friends with people really, to know how exactly things like this were supposed to go. He sort of hoped Yosuke would be better at this, considering all the attempts at getting girlfriends he had. He quickly realized that was a silly thought, as Souji was not a girl, and therefore completely uncharted territory in Yosuke’s mind.

Almost reading his mind, however, Yosuke suddenly blurted out, “Haha so like d-do you, do you want to bemyboyfrie-” cutting himself off with a cough.  
“Of course. Can we kiss again? The feeling was nice.”  
“You don’t gotta ask part-” Souji was the one to cut off Yosuke this time, quickly moving in to kiss him again, chasing the same spark, hoping for it to come with slightly less shock. Which it did, and Souji took that as a cue to move in closer, both boys adjusting their positions to move into a light hug. 

Several long moments later, they parted, for Yosuke to comment on how the sun had fully set.  
“You’re still here, though?” Souji quipped, which caused Yosuke to yell and turn even redder.  
“Haha well I’ll talk to you later partner!” He quickly stammered out before running off. 

‘I suppose he’s not ready for that yet.’ Souji mused before beginning to make the trip back to Dojima’s house, thinking of what he would text Yosuke when he got there.


End file.
